Down and Dirty Pictures : Miramax, Sundance, and the Rise of Independent Film by Peter Biskind-- he of Easy Riders, Raging Bulls fame-- is released next week.

Here are some predictions as to what you'll find within:

- Robert Redford is kind of a putz.
- Harvey and Bob? Jerks.
- Tarantino? Jerkputz.
- Soderbergh? What was that FULL FRONTAL crap? Was that trying to "keep it real?"
- Kevin Smith? Jerk.
- Ted Hope? Snob.
- John Schloss? Snob.
- Christine Vachon? Probably gay. Whatever. Bitch.
- Gus Van Sant? TOTALLY GAY.
- Hal Hartley? Pees sitting down.
- John Pierson? Never heard of him.